Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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