This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
