just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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