I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
