HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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