Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
