i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
