oh god the rape fog is back!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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