nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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