I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
smell my finger.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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