Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
