well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
