turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
