Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
soo... how was my night?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
