He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i believe in u and ur pee
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
