Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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