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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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