He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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