# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
