My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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