i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
