dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
