I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
