Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
