I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
