My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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