I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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