You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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