just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
