if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
