I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
