and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
