Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
