If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
