hotel room ftw
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You are the jesus of drinking
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
