That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
