woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
