I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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