Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
