stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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