It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
