Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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