evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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