Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
