i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
