help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
