# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I supernannyed him into submission
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
