I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
