We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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