I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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