the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She's the barista slut.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
