why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
